Human services · Helping & Teaching
Stay-at-Home Parent: what the job actually is
Raising children and running a household full time, which is real work with no pay, no employer and its own planning needs.
By Nick Gonzalez, founder, U.S. Air Force veteranPublished Last reviewed How we research and correct this
The work
What this job actually is
- Looking after children and the household full time instead of working for pay. It is demanding, skilled work: scheduling, caregiving, budgeting, cooking, teaching and constant problem solving.
- It is not a job in the employment sense. There is no employer, wage, benefits or Employment Insurance, so the plan around it matters as much as the work.
- Some people choose it, some do it because child care is unaffordable or a child needs extra care, and many do it for a few years rather than forever.
- It can also be done by a father or any caregiver. The practical issues are the same.
- The skills carry over: organizing, negotiating, managing a budget and handling a crisis are valued by employers when a parent returns to work.
- Some students write 'trophy wife' on a career board, as a joke or as a real goal. It is not a job: there is no employer, no wage, no benefits and no protection if the relationship ends. Depending on a partner's income is a choice with real financial risk, covered below. If what appeals is the lifestyle, the realistic version is a career that pays for it yourself.
A Tuesday
What a normal day looks like
Not a good day or a bad one. The ordinary version, which is what you would actually be living.
- 6:00 — First feed or wake-up. The day starts when the children do.
- 7:30 — Breakfast, lunches packed, school or daycare drop-off.
- 9:00 — Laundry, groceries and the appointments that need a weekday.
- 10:30 — A toddler group or a call with the doctor, between naps.
- 12:00 — Lunch, and a few quiet minutes if the baby sleeps.
- 13:30 — Learning time with a preschooler, or a school pick-up.
- 15:30 — Snacks, homework help and the after-school scramble.
- 17:00 — Dinner. Bath and bedtime routines.
- 20:30 — Household budget, tomorrow's plan, and finally some time to yourself.
Honestly
Who loves this, and who should not do it
The second list is the useful one. Nearly every careers page leaves it out, which is why nearly every careers page reads like an advert.
- You want to be closely involved in your children's early years and can afford the trade-off.
- You are organized and can run a household and a schedule.
- You are patient and can handle constant interruptions.
- You and your partner have a plan for money, retirement and what happens if circumstances change.
- You have a way to keep your skills and contacts current.
- You need a paycheque, a title and outside recognition to feel valued.
- Isolation wears on you. Many stay-at-home parents have to build community on purpose.
- You would struggle depending on one income, especially if the relationship ended.
- You want clear days off. The work does not stop.
- A gap in your resume would worry you and you have no plan for it.
The route in
How you actually get there in Ontario
Decide with the numbers
Compare the cost of child care with the income you would give up, including benefits and pension. The Canada Child Benefit and other programs may change the picture, so check them on Canada.ca.Protect your retirement
Time out of paid work lowers your Canada Pension Plan earnings record. The CPP child-rearing provision can exclude low-earning years when you were the primary caregiver of a child under seven, but it is not automatic: you have to ask for it when you apply for CPP.Keep skills and contacts alive
Take an occasional course, volunteer, or do part-time or freelance work. A short, current line on your resume shortens the gap later.Plan the return
When you are ready, Employment Ontario and local employment services can help with training, resumes and job search. Our career discovery tools can help you pick a direction.
Where this comes from: Canada.ca: CPP child-rearing provision · Canada Revenue Agency: Canada Child Benefit · Employment Ontario
The money
What it pays in Ontario
Job Bank's own figures, quoted rather than summarised, with the period they describe — so you can tell how old they are and go and check them.
Being a stay-at-home parent is unpaid work, so there is no Job Bank wage and no outlook rating. Any dollar figure you see online is an estimate of what the work would cost to hire out, not income you receive. What matters in practice is household income, benefits such as the Canada Child Benefit, and your own pension record.
Before you leave school
Things you can do now
- Take family studies, health and food classes, and any child development course.
- Babysit or volunteer with younger children to learn how demanding and rewarding it is.
- Learn household budgeting now. It is the skill that decides whether the plan works.
- Talk to a few parents who stayed home and ask what they planned and what they would change.
Test it
Do this before you decide anything
Reading about a job tells you almost nothing. This is designed to be done alone, this week, for free.
Run a real household budget for one month
About 60 minutes- List an imagined household's fixed costs: housing, food, transport, child care and utilities.
- Compare it to one income and then to two. Note the gap and what you would cut.
- Look up the Canada Child Benefit calculator on Canada.ca and add what a family might receive.
- Write one paragraph: what would you want a partner to agree to before one of you stopped working for pay?
What it tells you. If the numbers worked and you felt clear about the plan, you are thinking about it the right way. If the gap scared you, that is a sign to build skills and savings first. Either answer is useful, because deciding with numbers beats deciding on feeling alone.
Better than any article
Questions for somebody who does this job
Most people say yes to a teenager who asks good questions. These are the ones that get real answers rather than encouragement.
- “What do you wish you had planned before you stopped working?”
- “How did you keep your skills and contacts current?”
- “How did you and your partner handle money and retirement?”
- “What was harder than you expected, and what was better?”
- “How did going back to work go?”
- “What would you tell a young person who is thinking about it?”
Could you own one of these?
The part other career sites never mention
Many parents combine it with a small home-based business, such as child care, bookkeeping, baking or freelance work. Check licensing for home child care and your municipality's home business rules.
Not sure this is the right list to be reading
Start from yourself, not from the job.
Future Finder is free, takes about ten minutes, needs no account and stores nothing. It will tell you which kinds of work you lean toward, and which of these pages are worth your time.
Parent of a teenager weighing this up? Career coaching for teens gets them talking to people who do the work, anywhere in Ontario.
If this appeals, look at these too
home child care provider early childhood educator career counsellor
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Wages and training requirements change. Every figure on this page is linked to the body that publishes it, and the review date above says when we last checked. If you find something out of date, tell us and we will fix it.